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Stop What You're Doing: You Can Now Buy A Ranch Keg

We're drunk in love with this idea.

Light Ranch Dressing Horizontal
Chelsea Lupkin
Light Ranch Dressing Horizontal
SOURCE: Chelsea Lupkin
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Stop What You're Doing: You Can Now Buy A Ranch Keg

We're drunk in love with this idea.

Hidden Valley seems to operate under a sort of if you build it, they will come mentality. No one needed the $100 ranch fountain they debuted earlier this year, but condiment diehards bought out the entire stock. Same goes for the bejeweled bottle and beach towel that launched alongside it. And while you've been resting on your laurels for months now, content with telling your grandchildren about the time someone invented a machine that could make ranch flow freely, ready for some carrots or your bare hands to dip into it at any moment — WHABAM: Hidden Valley Ranch Outlet drops a holiday collection.This is the stuff dreams, and really fun parties, are made of.A KEGFor $65, you get this silver beauty and a year's supply of Hidden Valley Ranch. It's perfect for hypochondriacs who want ranch on tap — a la the fountain — but contained, to prevent double-dippers from spreading their truth.A SWEATSHIRTThis looks like something your grandmother embroidered (itchy and outdated) but feels like something you buy at a college bookstore (soft and ironically relevant).A BLANKETIn theory, you want to bathe in a pool of ranch surrounded by all your favorite dippers: pizza, veggies, fries. In reality, wrapping yourself in this blanket — printed with all those things — is a lot more enjoyable.A FOUNTAIN SKIRTIf you were #blessed enough to score a ranch fountain when Hidden Valley's inaugural collection dropped, consider yourself #charmed: You can now get a skirt, like one you'd fit around the base of a Christmas tree, for said fountain.A PAIR OF SOCKSOne sole reads "If you can read this," while the other says, "Bring me ranch." Ranch lovers don't have time to wait around, you know?

Hidden Valley seems to operate under a sort of if you build it, they will come mentality. No one needed the $100 they debuted earlier this year, but condiment diehards bought out the entire stock. Same goes for the bejeweled bottle and beach towel that launched alongside it. And while you've been resting on your laurels for months now, content with telling your grandchildren about the time someone invented a machine that could make flow freely, ready for some carrots or your bare hands to dip into it at any moment — WHABAM: drops a holiday collection.

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This is the stuff dreams, and really fun parties, are made of.

A KEG

vlog-TV
Hidden Valley

For $65, you get this silver beauty and a year's supply of Hidden Valley Ranch. It's perfect for hypochondriacs who want on tap — a la the fountain — but contained, to prevent double-dippers from spreading their truth.

A SWEATSHIRT

vlog-TV
Sarah Weinberg

This looks like something your grandmother embroidered (itchy and outdated) but feels like something you buy at a college bookstore (soft and ironically relevant).

A BLANKET

vlog-TV
Hidden Valley

In theory, you want to bathe in a pool of ranch surrounded by all your favorite dippers: pizza, veggies, fries. In reality, wrapping yourself in this blanket — printed with all those things — is a lot more enjoyable.

A FOUNTAIN SKIRT

vlog-TV
Hidden Valley

If you were #blessed enough to score a ranch fountain when Hidden Valley's inaugural collection dropped, consider yourself #charmed: You can now get a skirt, like one you'd fit around the base of a Christmas tree, for said fountain.

A PAIR OF SOCKS

vlog-TV
Hidden Valley

One sole reads "If you can read this," while the other says, "Bring me ranch." Ranch lovers don't have time to wait around, you know?