After #MeToo Campaign Goes Viral, Men Are Saying #ItWasMe
"I was 'that guy' who would undermine the claims of survivors. I changed because of your persistence"
"I was 'that guy' who would undermine the claims of survivors. I changed because of your persistence"
If your Facebook and other social feeds have been flooded with the #MeToo hashtag, it's gone viral as a reaction to recent news that is likely also taking over your accounts: the Harvey Weinstein accusations.
October 5, a revealed decades worth of sexual assault allegations against Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein, eight of which resulted in private settlements. piece detailing many more accusations followed five days later. and were among the most well-known actresses who said they were harassed by Weinstein. And and were among the onslaught of other women in Hollywood who came forward with of sexual harassment in the industry. Many women said that hearing from these public voices encouraged them to speak up too.
Actress Alyssa Milano, who worked with one of Weinstein's alleged victims, , encouraged assault survivors to use the hashtag in an effort to prove just how pervasive the problem of sexual assault and harassment is, even in 2017.
If you've been sexually harassed or assaulted write 'me too' as a reply to this tweet. — Alyssa Milano (@Alyssa_Milano)
With more than 21,000 retweets and 61,000 to date, Milano's call to action has turned into a . (Though points to blogger and advocate as the woman to enlist the #MeToo hashtag for sexual violence awareness and advocacy almost 10 years ago.)
The hashtag has also received traction on and Facebook, resulting in an estimated12 million . Here are just a few reactions:
— America Ferrera (@AmericaFerrera)
men i knew, men i didn't know, men I worked with, men i didn't work with, a man in my own family, men i trusted — Best Coast (@BestCoast)
Me too. I don't know if means anything coming from a gay man but it's happened. Multiple times.— Javier Muñoz (@JMunozActor)
"I'm pretty sure I don't have a female friend who hasn't been through this. I also have plenty of male friends who have been through it," one women on Facebook. "I'm hearing it most from my entertainer friends… The casting couch is an old tradition. And it's disgusting."
One critique of the #MeToo campaign is that it tells us what we already know: Women experience every single day. According to the , 1 in 4 women experience sexual abuse before they turn 18, and it's important to note that this also applies to 1 in 6 men. One in 5 women in her lifetime, and so will one in 71 men.
That said, some men are already coming forward with hashtags of their own: and :
"There is one clear instance of assault where I was the perpetrator that I can remember," one male wrote on Facebook with the hashtag #ItWasMe. "This is not to say this was the only time, though I hope it was. I was dating a woman when I was 19 and she had told me repeatedly that she was not ready to have sex with me. One night I slept over, and after she had gone to sleep, I got hard, and tried to penetrate her. She woke up just as I did, nonchalantly batted me away and told me to go to sleep. Only years later did I understand she had to 'be calm' because in her mind I could have just as easily reacted violently to her rejection." See his full post below:
"I've either contributed to or been witness to hundreds of conversations of cavalier, misogynistic, generally shitty 'locker room talk,'" another #ItWasMe wrote. He went on to say that he's responsible for "at least one 'me too.' Are you?"
One male wrote on Facebook, "I was 'that guy' who would undermine the claims of survivors. I was emotionally abusive to my partners. I was light-hearted about the consequences of rape." And went on to say, "I changed because of your persistence. Please keep talking about this. Please keep being open about it." It's worth it to give his full post a read:
There's only so much a hashtag can do, but it's a step in the right direction — a step toward a world where everyone will feel empowered to speak up, and more importantly, feel safe.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual assault or harassment, you can call 's free, confidential sexual assault hotline at 800-656-HOPE.