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Focus on you first.

Funny, there don't seem to be Mother's Day cards that say, "Thanks for caring about your own needs too, Mom!" Organization expert , author of the book "," makes an excellent case for why maybe there should be: "The time when you're raising kids is the prime of your own human development — the peak of your career and relationship-building opportunities. We've been taught that parents are supposed to sacrifice those needs for our children. Actually, all that sacrificing undermines your ability to be a great parent. If you're not fulfilled, it's really hard to nurture the fulfillment of your kids. Parenting is about fitting the right combination of things into your life so that you are whole, and your child is whole." That's why it's important to incorporate stress-relieving and joy-boosting habits into your life.

Give the kids chores.

Chores make kids strong. A recent study suggests that children as young as three who are given age-appropriate tasks to handle around the house are more empathetic and self-reliant.

Get help with dinner.

You'll save time and have happier meals — enlisting help with dinner might be the trick to getting picky eaters to try new foods and eat healthier, experts believe. Having little ones measure ingredients and read directions aloud will also help improve basic math and reading skills.

Split the household duties.

Sharing the load can improve your marriage. Women on average spend about 90 minutes more on household chores a day than their partners. But couples who split housework equally have more sexual intimacy and relationship satisfaction, according to research published in the . Next date night: laundry and chill.

Get creative.

Think twice before passing up the opportunity to plop down beside your kindergartner and finger paint. Being creative can reduce stress, boost happiness and even help preserve memory, not to mention that your imagination can impact the development of your child's.

"Research shows that creativity is not very inheritable; you're not born creative or not," says , early education adviser for the . "Kids develop it through experiences and the people they interact with. Now it's especially crucial that they do because most of the jobs in the future will require creative problem-solving abilities." To boost yours, find things that allow you to turn off your inner critic and do a little bit of playful exploration, she says.

Start planning ahead.

Schedule like a pro with tips from Emily Ley, creator of and Pilot Pen's . "Choose a printed planner or an online calendar system and enter all commitments as soon as you know about them. I use a different color for each child so I can see at a glance who needs to be where. Making all their annual or biannual doctor's visits in January or June means we get everything done in those two months and I don't have to worry about them throughout the year. I also plan all my weekly business calls and meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays. This helps me ensure that I'm not always trying to squeeze in more creative things or volunteering," Ley says.

Clear your mind.

Pop that negativity bubble! To stop a downward mental spiral ("If I were a better mom," or "I'll never be able to ..." ), stand up! "When you physically move your body, your state of mind shifts too," says Petra Kolber, author of "." "Our brains tend toward negative thoughts when we're sitting idle, so make it a habit to move whenever you notice they're headed that way," Kolber says.

PHOTO: Peopleimages

Practice breathing to de-stress.

For one full minute, breathe in for four seconds and out for six. "Any time we exhale longer than we inhale, it will move us out of that fight-or-flight stress response and into the present," Kolber says.

De-escalate tantrums.

This one, from , author of "," works well for young kids. While hugging, take three deep breaths. Even if they are too upset to breathe with you, they will start to learn how to use their breath to calm themselves.

Refocus your energy (and your kids' too!).

"Practice finger breathing together," says Race. "Move fingers apart as you breathe for a count of five, then together at the same pace." This soothing technique helps kids refocus during stressful activities like test-taking.

Make dinner fun.

Meredith Sinclair, author of "" says you should find little ways to sneak fun into the day. So, slap a paper runner and crayons on the table during dinnertime. "It'll get you to ditch your phones and connect," Sinclair says.

Liven up your routine.

Try something off the regularly scheduled program every now and then! "List things for your kids to 'spy' on your dog walk, or hold an 'emergency evacuation' during homework time due to playground withdrawal! You get on those swings too and see how amazing you feel," Sinclair says.

Lighten the mood.

When the house feels tense, head over to what Sinclair calls the play crate. "Keep a bin in the kitchen filled with joke books and art supplies to curb bad moods and boredom," she says.

Don't say yes right away.

We know, as a parent, sometimes it's hard to say no — to your kids, teachers, parental responsibilities, etc. But, Sheryl Ziegler, Psy.D., author of "" says try, "I'll get back to you." This response gives you a chance to think about what you want to do and will eliminate those stressful things on your overstuffed plate, Ziegler says.

Find your passion project.

It could even turn into something lucrative. "I wanted a way to give back to my community that the kids could do with me," says mom of two, Rose Gebran. "I love making cookies, so I figured I'd sell them and donate the proceeds." Now, is a full- fledged social enterprise, with 100% of the proceeds going to local charities in Boise, Idaho. "At first my son was like, 'Why would you give your money away?' But the change in both of them as they've seen how our hard work is helping others has been amazing."

One more upside of Rose's charitable work: Her kids will likely find it easier to succeed at their own dream projects. As Jennifer Dulski, author of "," explains: "Exposing children to people who have found a purpose, whether you go to a march or visit a local business, helps them believe it might be possible for them."

Find a happy middle for big decisions.

No matter whether you're making a big decision, like where to send your teen to college or a little one, like what to bring to the school bake sale, over evaluating your options will lead to the most regret, shows a recent University of Waterloo study. Tell yourself there may be slightly better options instead of a single right one, and you'll be more satisfied. Or simply follow the advice of Morgenstern's : Decide what's the most you could do (baking a dozen cupcakes from scratch) and the least (buying them from the local bakery). Then do something in the middle, such as dressing up store-bought cupcakes.

Shake off the work guilt.

It's the eternal struggle: You're worried about neglecting your kids because of work or that colleagues think you're shirking work because of the kids. Let this ease your mind.

Julie Ross, executive director of says, kids want their parents to like work and studies show that children of working moms fare as well as those of stay-at-home ones. "They just don't want to feel it is more important that they are," Ross says. Just make sure they know they could never be replaced.

Also, refrain from oversharing says , founder and CEO of the online community . Your time off is yours to do with as you want, so "instead of, 'I have to leave at three to take my kid to the dentist,' say, 'I have a hard stop at three' and leave it at that," Salva says.

Maximize quality time.

You know that certain types of quality time, like eating meals and reading together, are important for a child's well-being. But it turns out that even shorter bursts of attention, if consistent, can be beneficial: "As long as it becomes part of their routine, like 15 uninterrupted minutes together a day talking before school or at bedtime, it can be enough to make them feel secure and loved," says parenting expert Julie Ross. Unexpectedly have 20 minutes free? Take a stroll around the neighborhood. "Being exposed to nature for even 20 minutes can enhance cohesion among family members," says , assistant professor in child and adolescent development at San José State University.

Pick your battles.

Here's one fight you can be okay with losing. While bedtime bribes might have worked when they were little, enforcing a "lights out" rule with teens rarely goes as smoothly. Thankfully, a study published in the found that 16 to 19-year-olds who went to bed between 10 and 11 p.m. had higher GPAs — so you can let your resistant night owl win this round.

Accept that you won't have all the answers.

Danica McKellar, mom of one, author and founder of knows the struggles of parents trying to keep up with new school teachings, like Common Core math. As someone who writes math textbooks, she gets questions from parents all the time asking: "How can I help my kids with their homework?" She tells parents to hang in there. Learning most new things doesn't come easy.

"Also, Common Core isn't a bad thing. '' (ages 6 to 9) illuminates these methods in a fun, cartoony way, often showing two methods for solving the problem side-by-side — the new way and another parents will recognize," McKellar says.

Never forget your keys again.

"Forgetting is about distraction," says , who's spent 20 years as a memory expert. "To remember, you have to remember to remember."

So besides putting your keys in the same place (you meant to do that, right?), create a memory reminder: Pause on your top step so you don't open the front door on autopilot and throw the keys anywhere. Or associate a wind chime in your kitchen with the need to place the keys in the bowl on the counter. You can do this with your phone, too: When you set it down, take a split second to notice what it's next to so you can envision it when you're all, "What on earth? I just had it!"

Take the stress out of getting dressed.

"My kids pick out what they're going to wear themselves but they need to lay it out the night before and — unless there's a serious weather change — there's no switching it up in the morning," says Rebecca Green, mom of two and blogger at .

Delegate like crazy.

"I know I can't do everything in the morning, especially since I leave the house before my husband and kids. So, I delegate: I leave a note on the counter every day with things like 'Use the chicken leg in the fridge for lunch!'" says Amy Graff, mom of three and news producer for SFGate.

Make wake up time easier.

It's your own version of Groundhog Day. You go into your kids' room — "Time to get up!" — but when you come back 10 minutes later, absolutely nothing has changed except the march of the clock. Here's how to break free:

1. Be consistent. "Having a regular wake time is just as important as having a regular bedtime," says Mandy Gurney, cofounder of the Millpond Children's Sleep Clinic and coauthor of "."

"You don't have to be militant about it — they can sleep in a bit on weekends. But if you leave your child to lie for hours on Saturday morning, trying to get them out of bed come Monday morning will be a nightmare."

2. Give 'em a treat. The morning scramble has a way of bringing out Sgt. Mom, but barking (you) and balking (them) is no way to start the day. Instead, think about niceties that can help get them going. Gurney brings her teen daughter a glass of milk in the morning: "She likes it, but it also makes her sit up!" Marie Masterson, Ph.D., offers her teens warm washcloths to ease them into the day. This is a special kindness to older kids, whose bodies, research has shown, really are programmed to wake up and go to bed much later than the school schedule generally allows. For elementary school kids, the promise of 10 minutes on an iPad — once they're up, dressed and fed, of course — may work wonders.

3. Let them handle it. "As parents, our job is to transfer responsibility to the child," says Masterson. "The earlier we start, the better." So while it may seem like asking for more late slips, know this: Kids as young as 4 or 5 take pride in using their own alarm clock if they're taught to take responsibility for it, Masterson promises. Just try it. And because light is the gold standard as far as wakefulness, think about getting a clock with a glow for any age child, or simply step in and raise the blinds or turn on a lamp when the alarm goes off.

Help your kids with homework by personality.

It's astounding how much parent-kid tension can be brought on by a few math worksheets or reading assignments. Gauging your kid's homework personality, says Ann Dolin, founder of Washington, D.C.'s , can help get you past the hump.

Ms. Disorganized: This is the kid who doesn't bring the right book home or does her homework but can't find it the next day. "A lot of parents will see this as something willful," says Dolin. "But a lot of times, it's just that the child's executive functioning isn't well developed yet. Accepting that will go a long way." Don't take over, but create space for her to get herself together: A weekly family "clean sweep," for example, during which she empties out her backpack while you tackle the junk drawer. "Scattered backpack, scattered mind," says Dolin.

The Rusher: He whips through his homework in record time, scattering easy mistakes and skimping on detail. Check his work? Never! He has places to go. "Saying 'Slow down!' won't work," says Dolin. Instead, she institutes a set period (say, the recommended 10 minutes per grade level) of dedicated homework yime. "Tell him, 'If you finish, you can work ahead, you can do your reading, you can do math facts on the computer, but this block is set aside for school work.'" There's less incentive to rush — and less friction between the two of you.

The Procrastinator: She can't find a pencil; she's cold; she needs a drink of water. These kids are not just avoiding work. "Sometimes they feel overwhelmed and underprepared," says Dolin. Encourage her to set small goals for herself, allowing a short break after: working through two math problems, for example, or just the easy ones. Timers may also help. "She can set it and say, 'Ten minutes, then I can take a break,'" says Dolin. Often, once this kid gets started, she'll go on through like a champ.

The Daydreamer or Fidgety Kid: These kids — problems self-explanatory — also do great with a timer. Try breaking up their homework into short segments of no more than 20 minutes and letting them move locations for each. "Fidgety kids also often do things that really annoy parents and teachers, like rocking in their chairs or clicking mechanical pencils," says Dolin. "The instinct is to say, 'Stop that!' But allow them to fidget. They need to get that energy out."

Mr. Frustrated: If reading equals rage or math equals major drama in your house, it's time to put on the brakes. "Nobody can think clearly in the middle of the meltdown," says Dolin. "That's when parents need to disengage. Say, 'I'm going to go check my email. Come find me when you want to get started again.'" For Round two, resist telling your kid how to tackle his problem, advises Dolin. "Say, 'Do you have an example? Do you have notes on this? Is it on another worksheet?'" she says. "You're teaching them the skill of independence. The more you hover, the worse the outcome."

Keep your car stocked.

We asked two moms, each with at least three kids, what they need (besides coffee) to give the to school drive a modicum of calm. These are the things we should all stash:

1. Energy bar: (In case of missed breakfast.) "We like Lärabar," says Amy Graff, a mom of three outside San Francisco.

2. Flossers: Didn't get enough time for your teeth? "We floss while we're in the car," says Graff.

3. A spare sweatshirt: Big enough to be worn by any member of the family, "in case your 6-year-old realizes it really was too cold to wear shorts," says Sharon Rowley, a mom of six in Bedford, NY.

4. Clipboard and pens/pencils: For homework, says Rowley, or to sign last-minute permission slips, says Graff.

Be an early riser.

"I have to get myself dressed and ready first before I can actually deal with anyone else. I typically go straight to the shower, get myself pulled together and then — only once I know I could walk out the door within two minutes — I can attend to the kids. Because at that point, anything can happen," says Merrill Stubbs, mom of two and cofounder.

Plan the week's meals.

Two sanity-preservers from Merrill Stubbs, one of the moms who co-founded the kitchen and home site and co-wrote the upcoming book ":"

1. Put a plan in place: Maybe you shop Saturday morning and cook Sunday or shop Friday evening and cook a little both days — whatever works. But plan on somewhere between 90 minutes and three hours in the kitchen overall with a few dishes (say a winter stew) done and ready to eat and others prepped to throw together in 10 to 20 minutes on a busy night. One key act that will get you ahead: Cook your veggies as soon as you get them home. "It's when you love them most," says Stubbs. "Facing a bunch of raw vegetables on a Wednesday evening is too daunting. But if your peppers are already braised you can just throw them into a dish."

2. Then forget about it sometimes: You must lose any lingering guilt over nontraditional dinners. Now and then, you've got to embrace dishes like salads, grilled cheese or topped ricotta toast. They lighten the dinner-making burden — and may even be healthier than a huge meal.

Don't rush breakfast (it won't help).

Are "We're late!" and "Hurry up!" your breakfast-time standards? All that rushing could be making things worse instead of better at your house: Studies show that when we look to save time by hurrying through a meal, we actually feel more pressed, not less, and make worse food choices. Meanwhile lunch studies show that kids who speed-eat tend to chow down more (boys) or less (some girls) than normal — right at the time they're supposed to be learning lifelong healthy eating skills, like what satiety feels like.

Speaking of lunch: School kids are almost guaranteed to be rushing again then. One study found most spend only seven minutes eating during their lunch break. So if you can, try to shift your morning schedule around — brush hair in the car, do chores in the afternoon — so your kids can get their fill at least once a day.

Skip the doctor.

Opt for a walk-in clinic. They tend to have late night and weekend hours and they can give vaccines and fill out the form you meant to bring to the doctor two weeks ago.